Tag Archives: family

Thanksgiving just isn’t what it used to be….

The upcoming holiday is meant to be a time full of thanks and family festivities, but unfortunately the meaning is slowly slipping through our fingers and no one seems to be willing to stop it. The highly anticipated day after Thanksgiving…Black Friday… seems to have slowly creeped its way into Thanksgiving day!! Two years ago, I was working for Bed, Bath & Beyond, and don’t get me wrong, it was worth the experience I received. But that was the year that the company decided to have a late night shift starting at 9 p.m. Thanksgiving night and remain open through Black Friday. To a college student whose hometown and family was two hours away, this was devastating! Thankfully I didn’t have to work the night shift, but I did have to be back to work early Friday morning, making it difficult to enjoy any family time at all. I understand that people gear up for Christmas right after Thanksgiving, but could we benefit from toning the hype down a bit? My heart breaks for those that have to work on Thanksgiving, and thus, like many people I know, I am boycotting any type of shopping on Thursday! It is not fair to have these folks work and unable to spend time with their families! Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family and relaxation and stuffing our faces with turkey! NOT working so that other RUDE, SELFISH people can get their Christmas shopping fix done early. A co-worker of mine put it in the best terms:

“People have 364 other days to shop and get great deals. Why do they (people) need to take away Thanksgiving for others to shop one day early ?”



It has come to my attention through a family dispute that ignorance lies at the heart of all misunderstanding. But why has ignorance affected us so deeply? Why is ignorance still an excuse to say or think whatever we want? A lot of times, we has human beings don’t want to face the facts or deal with an underlying problem so we choose to be ignorant and bury the problem deeper into society. 

Unfortunately, the issue I speak of is deeply rooted within this country…racism. It was shocking to me how a person within my family was capable of such ignorance when they posted a confederate flag on Facebook with a late post saying that the confederate flag did not stand for slavery and that was not what the Civil war was about. 

Being the older sister of an adopted black brother, I quickly felt the need to rip him apart. However, I took a moment to analyze what it was that he actually had said and thought: “Maybe he just doesn’t really understand what he said.” So needless to say, my husband, being the more level headed one, stepped in and responded with a lengthy response; questioning and analyzing the post on Facebook. 

In the end, an apology came our way, but in the back of my mind, I still can’t help but think about all the hard work that has been accomplished, but all the hard work that is yet to come. As united as this country may stand, or not stand, we still have yet to weed out the deep seeded ignorance that minority races in the country have equal rights, too.  Admittedly, I see the confederate flag posted in the back of trucks and in yards more frequently than I’d like. The 13th Amendment may have freed slaves, but we have a long way to go for civil equality.

On top of this issue, I’d hate to point out the fact that it is possible that within our lifetime, the white race will become the minority race. And you know what I mean!! We are seeing more and more people marrying into other cultures. These couples get it!! These families see the potential and what this world and this country can become. Ignorance is slowly dying, but unfortunately, not slow enough. Ignorance is no long an excuse that a racist individual can hide behind. We need to call it like we see it and maybe that will spark a change. A penny is a penny; a mule is a mule; a racist is a racist. 


Marriage: By definition is the relationship between a husband and wife…

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’  and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” -Matthew 19: 4-6

So if marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman, why is there a traditional need to have expensive weddings and celebrate with family members that you haven’t spoken to in years? Well, it’s just that…


Now many people would argue that in the Bible it states that they celebrated with family as witnesses. But do we really understand what that meant? Do we really WANT to understand what a traditional marriage in the Bible times looked like? The following graphic depicts exactly the type of marriages we find in the Bible, many of which are no longer practiced today due to government influence…


If all of these types of unions existed in Bible times and are stories told to our children and within the church, why are these practices so frowned upon now? It could be that moral and social values HAVE indeed influenced the church. Many Christians now-a-days see these unions as “disgusting” or “immoral” yet we cherish the very characters who practiced these unions.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my personal beliefs are that I will only have one husband for the rest of my life, but it seems silly to assume that marriage has always been this way. Yes, marriage in Bible times was originally between one man and one woman, but more often than not, he also acquired her slaves, her concubines, more than one wife, etc. Well we certainly don’t have slaves anymore in the Western world, nor do we have concubines, and polygamy is not a common practice.

I guess my overall question still remains…

Why is a large wedding seen as traditional when we’ve made a decision to honor ONE of the many traditional wedding practices found in the Bible? The answer is still unclear, but the one thing that I do know is that I am concrete in what I believe. I was married to one man, made a public commitment to him before God, and vow to love this man for the rest of my life. I didn’t feel the need to have an huge wedding with lots of people. I didn’t want to get wrapped up in all the details that I forget why I was actually doing what I was doing. Keeping our marriage simple and just between us gave me the satisfying feeling that nothing could go wrong and that I was there for all the right reasons; that I was fully there in the moment both emotionally and mentally. I wasn’t worrying about what could or might go wrong when my back was turned. I was fully aware of my decisions and what that moment meant for us. We came together and walked away husband and wife.

And nothing can change that.